Before you ask us, Yes ! We hate valentines day, They are all romantic and gooey and boring. There is nothing but drama in the air and you cannot relax for even 1 Second if you’re single. You hate it too ? Tired of all the relationship bullsh*t ? Well then we have got just the post for you. Today, We present you with 5 marvelous techniques to break-up with someone !
Number 1 : Go To Prison !
Yes it’ll work, Doesn’t matter how badly she’s in love with you. Doing a 69 with a K9 should get her off you, If it doesn’t, there’s always Prison where you can chill and do some bodybuilding.
In case it doesn’t work, move to technique 2.
Number 2 : Fake Time Travel :
The benefits of this technique ? You have 2 opposite angles working for you, One, The time machine might work and you could go back in time and kill yourself before going into the relationship. Two, If the machine shouldn’t work, She might get repulsed by your craziness. If they both don’t work, You can always skip town.
If it fails, go to step 3.
Number 3 : Prove you’re Brother And Sister :
This step will gross you out,Unless you’re a Lannister, But it’s necessary that you act naturally and make her believe you’re her brother.
Number 4 : I’m A Ghost !
If your problem is not solved till yet, Technique number 4 will help you for sure. You need good Photoshop skills and a 1000 Bucks for this technique. If done properly, she’ll be for sure go mad and you’ll get your freedom. If you’re broke, Get to the next tip.
Number 5 : Gross Her Out :
You’ve got a tough psycho on your hands, This technique requires total dedication and riddance of personal hygiene to work properly. This step will get rid of her 100%.
Now you can cry and beg her to take you back because you’re one ugly looking SOB.